"How Does That Make You Feel?"
It,s “How does that make you feel?” Thursday!You are 5 years old. Your beloved teddy bear from birth is completely worn out from years of constant companionship. He is literally falling apart from being loved.
Your mother announces Teddy will go away to a Bear Hospital, where he will be restuffed, sewn up, and given a face lift. (A sort of botox andBetty Ford’s treatment for stuffed animals). You two put Teddy in a box and off he goes.
Three weeks later – he’s back and he’s stunning! The fur is all back! The ear and arms are sewn on! Eyes polished new! You are delighted.
(He doesn’t get too worn out this time, as you are older and won’t be sucking on the ears of bears again until you reach 35)
20 years later your mother admits she threw the old bear out and just bought a new one.
She made the whole ‘rehab’ up.
“And how does that make you feel?”
(P.S. this is a true story)
posted by Ur-spo at 5:51 AM
16 Comments:
LOL...I knew that was where this was going. I would NEVER have let Teddy enter THE BOX!
I had a stuffed Lion (Linus), and he got into a tangle with our family dog...the dog won. Anyway, my mother, trying to calm the 5 year old version of me down, said, holding stuffing and material in her hands, "I don't think we can save him". Crying does help! She took out her needle and thread and started surgery...38 years later and I still have Linus safely placed in my closet. :) He's missing a foot, and he has scars all over him, but he's the same guy.
I think mothers do the best they can with their situation - remember, she had FOUR BOYS (as did my mother). She wanted you to have "new and fresh" and it seems that you would have been okay with "old and tattered".
Mothers do what they have to do. And if at 5 I believed the story and it got me thru the night, then it's okay. At least she eventually told me--or did I pry it out of her.
Pissed as hell!
...and yes, it happened to me too. only, my Teddy never came back from the hospital. There just was never another cuddly bear in my life until my 40's.
As I grew up, I probably would have put 2 and 2 together and know that teddy wouldn't come back that brand spankin' new unless mom bought another one.
So I wouldn't be mad at mom...she did what she had to do to keep her 5 year old happy.
I still have my "Teddy" that was given to me at birth over 35 years ago. My Mom NEVER replaced him...he is missing an eye, holes in his arm where I gave him his first "furcut", and an ear hanging on by a thread. He smelled awful for the longest...until I finally 'let go' and he aired out. He now sits proudly on a shelf in my house...all torn and tathered. I am glad my Mom never changed him...
I had "flip-flop" as a kid - he was a bunny but is now a oval blob of patches. The story goes that my Dad told me not to take him into the bathroom with me - I did and I dropped him into the commode - and it is said that after my Mom washed him I sat in front of the oven waiting for him to dry so I could go to sleep...
He currently resides in the top drawer of my Mom's dresser.
If I had experienced what you said, anger and betrail would be my first feelings...
I'd have a calm conversation about how destructive that type of lying and deceit can be to a young child right about the time I switched off the ventilator. Payback; it's a bitch.
I don't think I would have been surprised. There are lots of things we are told as children to get us through the moment and this just happened to be one of them.
My mother on the other hand decided one day that I was too old for my stuffed animals and out they all went. I would kill to have my talking Bugs Bunny doll now. It was my favorite and I never went anywhere without it. I slept with it religiously and I am sure it wasn't in the best of shape, but still to throw it out. This might explain my want to keep things till they are beyond saving. I save everything.
It was nice to hear about everyone's childhood love object.
I was saddened to hear how some of them were lost or taken away.
MG - I once out of evil told my mother her ploy is what drove me into psychiatry. Ouch! not nice.
But now we laugh at it.
When I am next home to the folks I hope to find this bear and give him another hug.
I had 2 different snoopy's. I threw them out in my early teens. I think I grew up to fast, or understood the false security.
Mom didn't even try that with me. In fact, she was more concerned about my attachment to my blankie. The satin lining had worn off years earlier from all my rubbing, I loved me some satin, but still wouldn't give up the blanket.
One day I just quit liking it...go figure. I still had a thing for satin through...right up through the late 70's disco era. Yep! I had me a Satin Disco Jacket!
hahahaha
I would have guessed at the time it was a made up story, and just have gone along with it to get a brand new teddy and spare everyones feelings.
I think this falls in the category of a "beautiful lie". I wouldn't have minded this very much at all. And though I never had an experience like this, though I did have a dog when I was about 7 that my father told me was hit by a car, when I was 16 I found out he sold it because he didn't think I'd be able to take care of it, I blogged about it awhile ago, now THAT'S trauma... no wonder I need Prozac!
Had I been told the truth about the bear before I had children of my own, I would have been angry.
After having children, you understand the need for those kind of lies.
I would have spotted the lie at once, and would have said so, without realizing that was a bad thing. Negative results would have ensued. So the confession would have fallen very flat.
Are you kidding? The only words to describe it would be "homicidal grief."
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