The Terrible Ts of Travel
In 2 weeks we board a plane to
This is a very long flight. The Fates, always with a sense of humor, have us on the same plane as the traveling companions coming from
Note to self; bring plenty of Valium and pepper spray.
I am working like mad to learn Spanish. I can recognize and understand a lot I hear but I can barely ask for the time of day, let along more complicated expressions like "Please remove the spider monkey get in my hotel room". The language handicap also leaves me at the mercy of Doug. Not only is he the only one of us with fluency in Spanish but he’s a smarty pants.
Note to self; Plans to push Doug into a volcano if he’s naughty are thwarted by his necessity to tell us how to get home. Stinko.
Between my love for history and my medical training I know of all sorts of tropical nasties just waiting our arrival. Has anything really changed since
Then there is the water/fresh food concerns of picking up some unwelcome wee beastie. I may not eat for a week.
Note to self; get Someone to taste test everything first.
Scoff and snicker as you may, our party of six is going not too far from the
Note to self; don’t mention the “R” word in
Bastards. These walking pestilences still give me the willies. I have improved that if I encounter one out of doors I will not have a heart attack but only run, screaming like a girl. However, I know they smell fear and I won’t be at all surprised to discover they are plotting something even as I type this.
Note to self; bring duct tape to seal off the room.
I am going to a country that is best known for its coffee. Where will I get a decent cup of tea?
Note to self; take your medication now.
posted by Ur-spo at 8:22 PM
21 Comments:
Here's a T for ya...Toughen up! Just kidding. I'm sure you'll have a Totally Terrific Time.
Typhoid, Terroists, Tarantulas, and no Tea? Sounds like a cross between Fear Factor and Survivor. I am officially no longer jealous.
But have a good time. :)
Just remember that tarantula's are nothing more than larger, more cuddly versions of Spiders - just like me! If you see one - just think, he is checking you out to make you a Sunday Snippet...
I am not a fan of spiders, but a big fan of coffee. For me the trade-off would probably be worth it!
Nice list, perhaps the better question on the coffee or tea issue is where does the water to brew the beverage come from and does boiling kill all the critters living in the wather.
Have a good time! PS, Can you video the guy running naked down the aisle of the plane, please?
Re: #1 – This sounds like the best flight I’ve had in years! Forget the Valium and enjoy the conversation and entertainment. Better yet…talk cheese for a while, enjoy a few cocktails, and join The Wild One in some in-flight celebration!
Re: #2 – You’re out of luck here buddy…better be nice to Doug. However, I hear you can buy his confidence for a years supply of Streptococcus thermophilus.
Re: #3 – Dengue is worse the second time around. Okay…it’s fatal the second time around but since you’ve never had it…you’re good this trip.
Re: #4 – Why would you ever mention the “R” word in South America? In fact…why would you ever mention the “R” word without total disgust in your voice? You’ll be okay unless you talk of Reagan in warm, loving tones..while naked...in a prone position.
Re: #5 – Doug has assured us that he’s never encountered a tarantula in Costa Rica. If you should encounter one though, we insist “Someone" share the video of you running away, screaming like a girl. After all…we should get some enjoyment from the vacation we only get to enjoy vicariously.
Re: #6 – Easily resolved…just be careful not to carry loose tea in a rolled ziplock bag. Then again…maybe they’ll offer a “tea” they find better tasting and more relaxing…which will solve your issues from #1 on the flight home.
Just sayin'!
Funny but true!?
Very simple Spo, "when in Rome"!?
I thought me ears were burning...now I know why. OK, to allay your fears:
1. I plan on having Mr. Wild One fully sedated for the entire trip. That way, you and I can discuss the finer points of cheesemaking uninterrupted for the entire 5-hour flight.
2. You think I have fluency in Spanish? Ha! Bucko, we're in even more trouble than you thought. I can get by in Spanish. I said nothing about fluency. Think of the horror of walking the beach in Acapulco and being unable to say a word in Spanish. That's our impending fate.
3. In all seriousness, we do take precautions about food while we are there. I only drink stuff that's bottled (water, soda, wine) or contains enough alcohol that the parasites will be too distracted to infect me. I've heard that you don't have to do this in Costa Rica, but I prefer not to take chances.
Fear #4. I couldn't get a good look at the guerilla- about all that I could see was his fiercely bright eyes. About a week's worth of rough stubble kept poking over the bandana covering his face. "Gringo," he said, as he approached my bound and helpless form, "you have not been telling us all that you know..."
5. I plan on travelling fully equipped for all things entomological. If you have any spider problems, I'll be able to deal with them. Besides, we're far more likely to encounter scorpions.
6. I plan on bringing some of my own tea. You can get tea there, but it tends to be pretty basic (Lipton).
Finally, at the risk of being called a smarty pants (again), your mosquito picture is actually a cranefly (Tipularia). They're kinda cool, but they don't transmit diseases.
While The Wild One is running up and down the airplane aisles you can give me some lessons in how to disriminate a mosquito from a cranefly.
And a morpho from a swallowtail
And a Sandinista from a Tico
and John from Michael
and, of course, after all of that, the only thing I see is the belleek tea cup and saucer. sad, innit?
you guys are "nuts"...I know, I shouldn't be using terminology like that with a person of your background. Could you TRY to have fun? :)
You will be fine!!
(just drink alcholic beverages in excess)
I hope you see a spider so Doug can get a picture of it. And then of you doing girly dances and screaming. That would be FUNNY!!
(although funny, I don't really wish that on you)
I promise, you will be FINE!!!
Gosh! It sounds like so much fun! Is there room for one more on the tour bus? ;P
Your post makes me happy that I am living in the "land of the giants." Try and have a good time. Look at everything as an adventure. And you should have lots of things to post about upon your return.
Holy Crap! You sure do have a bunch of issues! About your trip. I mean you have a bunch of issues about your trip. Start the medication now and have a great time!
Me thinks you worry way too much!
Relax Spo,
Go with the flo'. :)
PS I thought I was a worry wort.
You make me feel normal. Thank you very much.HaHa.
I am in agreement with butterfly girl, everything looks better through an alcoholic haze!
I can't get the image out of my head: you running away, your arms flailing, your hands gesticulating wildly, screaming shrilly in an ear-piercingly high pitch.
I'd be lookin' for the local "tea" to calm my nerves. Not that I've done that in 15 years. Just sayin'.
Ok M, I think it's time to take your "Butch" meds.
Let's all be vewwy, vewwy bwave now.
I don't care for tarantulas either, but don't flash a picture of Dick Cheney at me. I scream and run like a little girl.
I'm a girl and Tarantulas never make me scream. I used to be in charge of the Tarantulas at the pet store where I worked.
I only run naked up and down the plane aisle if Doug talks incessently about cheese and the cute flight attendent invites me back to the loo for a "Mile High Club Special". The first condition is a distinct possibility but the second is very remote. So you will have to provide your own in-flight entertainment
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