How Does That Make You Feel?
It is "How Does That Make You Feel?" Thursday.
You are a counselor.
You are doing your weekly appointment with “Rob”. In his attempts to find love, Rob has a nightly pick up, and these never go well or last. So his appointments are usually about the latest date - and complaints why he can’t find anyone of quality.
As you listen you realize that the latest pick up may be “Sam”, the person you are presently dating! Through neutral questions (“tell me his name, what was he like, what does he do?”) Rob confirms it was Sam! Rob is hopeful, as Sam told him he is free/not dating and would be interest in seeing Rob again.
Since you are bound by patient confidentiality you can’t tell Rob or go home and confront Sam.
Next week, Rob has moved onto a new person and Sam is forgotten – at least by Rob!
It is rather awkward in supervision that week, presenting your case to the professor.
How does that make you feel?
P.S. this too is a true story.
posted by Ur-spo at 6:10 AM
17 Comments:
I am a bit confused by the last sentence, but...
I know I would definitiely feel betrayed by Sam for his apparent comments to Rob that he was free. I think I would assume that Rob would not just make this up, so Sam must have told him such. That would basically mean my relationship with Sam would be toast. It must not have meant much to him anyway. I would take him to be a player. Assuming that the original "agreement" was that we were just "dating" anyway, I would quickly end it and look for someone else.
After I got over feeling used, I might hire someone to get some good pictures of Rob(erotic if possible), and string them up around the house like christmas decorations, where Sam can't miss them. (You can always say you got the pictures at a garage sale.) Then I would dramatically tell Sam that I met someone new. That way Pond Scum, oops, I mean Sam at least has opportunity to own up, and he will always wonder if you found out. Maybe, it's a little borderline, but it could be finessed. Well, at least it's a pleasant fanatasy.
I have to agree with Lemuel. I would certainly feel betrayed and would quickly end my relationship with Sam. Homey don't play that!
Now...what did you do?
Oh, this sounds so familiar, ugh. Hurt, betrayal, anger, depression. That’s what I felt when word got back to me that my partner of 3 years was telling people he was single. Later when asked about it he said he didn’t want to send out an unavailable vibe so he said he was single while out so he’d get to pick up more guys. Worst.relationship.ever!
Ditch the bastard!
*shudders* tricky situation. Dumping Sam is a given, but then what?
I feel like I'd go home and pack someone's bags. I think it would be hard to help the patient though.
I would have a VERY hard time not blowing my cool with the boyfriend. I think I would go home and pack his belongings in a Wal Mart bag and toss them out on the lawn. The patient I could deal with. After all, it wasn't his fault. Well maybe I'd screw with his mind a bit. I count my blessings everytime I hear these horror stories. I've been with the same person for 18 years as of 9/01. Yes, I was but a babe in swaddling clothes when we got together.
I would dump Sam like last week's leftovers. I would tell Sam all Rob told me. Screw doctor/patient confidentiality, this is my heart we are talking about!
As the doctor you really can't be angy at Rob as it wasn't his fault. Unfortunately you can't go home and confront Sam directly. I would find some inadvertant way to drop a bomb in his lap "you saw him out" then dump his ass fast.
As the Backstreet Boys sing:
BYE, BYE, BYE!!!
I would feel intrigued by the unavoidable drama in the situation. Not to mention stymied by the impossible ethical corner I'd just been painted into. Thank Scrod I'm a dateless wonder; this can never happen to me.
well dearies,
my peer supervision group found it hilarious.
My supervisor was rather dumbstruck, apparently this topic had been generally skipped over in Freudian school.
I dropped Sam and did not see him for six months - he asked why I did so and I explained a patient had told me such. He didn't sound contrite but amused by it.
Rob continued counseling - later he was to see Sam again and see my picture there, and asked how I knew Sam. I think I was vague and said he was a friend at one time.
I was rather upset/hurt at the time but now I find it somewhat funny in its comic elements.
So you were out in Med. School and mentioned this? That's admirable!
Well, at least my suggestion would have been what you did - Sam would have been gone my dawn early light under the pretence of "my gut tells me you are cheating on me - I know you are, don't deny it and here, let me get the door so it doesn't hit your cheating ass on the way out..."
Don't fuck with my feelings or my man...
I would feel betrayed, but I would also respect the patient confidentiality mantra.
This only supports my 'every home a handgun' manifesto. I'd a taken that be-yotch out of his two-timing misery by dawn's early light.
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