Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Mentall Illness in your Appliances


Mr. Spider at A Spider's Web got me thinking about whether or not a person’s personality can be illustrated by the type of dessert they eat. Since I usually don’t eat dessert, that would make me with ‘zero personality’ which I don’t relish as the truth. Hope not!

But perhaps it is not desserts but one’s favorite appliance that is the real personality test.

So, here it is;
Choose your ‘appliance’.
I gave the answers ahead of time, so you can get to work on your issues ASAP.

1) The TV – indicates paranoia.
“Gee everyone is watching me”

2) The lamp manic depressive
“I shine brightly, then I just shut down and off”

3) The calculatordelusional disorder.
“Hey, I’m just as good a computer!”

4) The cell phoneschizophrenia
“I am receiving messages from out side and I hear voices in my head”

5) The washing machineObsessive Compulsive Disorder
“I keep washing the same things, over and over again, and they won’t stay clean”

6) The vacuum cleanerdepression
“Gee, life sucks, and so do I”

And finally

7) The bread machineco-dependency issues
“I am so kneedy”

22 Comments:

Blogger Lemuel said...

I was going to say "vacuum cleaner" until I realized that your line "...and so do I" did not mean what I thought it meant. (***EG***) ...so I've got to go with the calculator (delusional).

9:03 AM  
Blogger Doug Taron said...

If I pick the food processor, does it mean that I'm dangerously psychotic?

9:57 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

people who pick food processor should not be let out of doors unsupervised.

10:38 AM  
Blogger A Bear in the Woods said...

How about a toaster? Would you hand me that fork, please? I think something's stuck in there.

10:42 AM  
Blogger Conor Karrel said...

I'm definitely the bread machine with a close second to the TV, except that's not paranoia so much as hoping that everyone's watching me. I am an exhibitionist... I mean actor, after all.

10:54 AM  
Blogger john said...

I was going to say washing machine. Uh, just how accurate are these readings?
I hope you are having a great week. How did you ever make it thru Step 1 and 2 without a mental illness?

11:06 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

John - who says I didn't?
Internship was hell and I believe in hindsight I met the criteria for Major Depressive Disorder.
What an awful year that was.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Vic Mansfield said...

How about lawn and garden equipment?

The passive-agressive weedeater? The hoe? well, maybe not.

The gas-powered mower -can't stop drinking, tears up everything in its path.

I'd better quit now.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Probably #5: the washing machine. I'm the OCD poster child, by the way.

4:31 PM  
Blogger Jack said...

I'm a remote,

Push my buttons and I'll make you do things you wouldn't believe!?

lol

5:34 PM  
Blogger DEREK said...

I"m a bread macine

6:52 PM  
Blogger steve'swhirlyworld said...

I'm sorry...I'm the MAGIC BULLET; I know it's not on your list. I love my mini blender with lots of gadgets, it's easy to clean, hides easily in the cabinet, and comes with functional glasses with colored rims - what is your diagnosis Doc? Come on...time to apply all of that book smarts :)

6:56 PM  
Blogger Spider said...

I feel so honored to have imspired such a wonderful post as this - it is too funny - unless your favorite appliance is the vacuum cleaner with the cell phone and bread maker attachments, as mine is, then this post is just too sad...

7:21 PM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

Joel -your idea was a LOL

Steve - Magic Bullet types are in desperate need of an expensive analysis that will merely prolong the problem.

Spider - you need to lay off all appliances and eat more dessert this week, and all will be well.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

I think I am more like the washing machine. My friends, however would probably compare me to scissors.....a bit "snippy" at times. What do they know?

9:10 PM  
Blogger rodger said...

I'm sure I know what's coming when I say...my favorite appliance(s) is a really good range/oven and a spectacular vent hood that pulls about 3000 cfm.

Okay Doc...give it to me.

10:27 PM  
Blogger steve'swhirlyworld said...

Thanks...I always did have expensive taste :)

STEPHEN! YOU'RE AN IRON!!! OMG, I've never seen anyone IRON so much...and yes, you're snippy too :) but I love your flaws too.

10:56 PM  
Blogger Jason said...

LOL.
Those are good. I'm not sure which of those I would be. I always thought of myself as a mixer.

7:14 AM  
Blogger Ur-spo said...

geez, gay guys and their appliances!

7:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess I am bread machine. Which one is you?

8:26 AM  
Blogger purpletwinkie said...

I'm not sure about an appliance, but I may be the passive-agressive "As Seen on TV" kitchen gadget.

Looks pretty but in the long-run takes longer to "chop your veggies" than a simple knife.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Cliffie, The Lemming Girl said...

Am I in trouble if I say "slow cooker"?

8:27 PM  

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