My Cat Has Died
This entry is painful.
My cat Tiberius died this morning.
The past month has seen a lot of pet woes; new onset soiling/urinating on the furniture and rugs along with a subtle change in behaviors. The vet advised we put him in the laundry room at night time, and this seemed to curtail night time 'accidents'. But I felt bad to hear him howling therein every night.
This morning when I went to let him out I knew it was bad - he was lethargic, pupils dilated, floppy, and not responsive. We raced to an ER, where CPR was applied.
But it was too late.
He was 15-16 year old. I remember getting him as a kitten; I opened the car door at the farm of my friend's, where a set of kittens were. I said to the litter 'who wants to live with me?" and this one hopped in. He has been my companion for 15 year, through joys and sorrows of the 90s. He moved with me from Illinois to Michigan to Arizona. I was pleased to see that he bonded with Someone when we two set up a home together.
And now Tiberius is gone.
I have never felt such pain and sorry and ache as I do today. The last time I felt this much loss and grief was when my grandfather died. This is the first loss of pet that I personally got and owned.
I have heard many single people tell me their pet's death was like losing a child. I can appreciate that more now.
I also feel some guilt and 'what ifs' - what if I had caught this sooner; what if I had not put him in the laundry room at all ; what if I had let him out earlier that morning when I heard him howling.... I longed for an end to the endless piles of poop. And now I got that wish.
I feel so awful. I feel so sad.
And I feel so alone.
My cat Tiberius died this morning.
The past month has seen a lot of pet woes; new onset soiling/urinating on the furniture and rugs along with a subtle change in behaviors. The vet advised we put him in the laundry room at night time, and this seemed to curtail night time 'accidents'. But I felt bad to hear him howling therein every night.
This morning when I went to let him out I knew it was bad - he was lethargic, pupils dilated, floppy, and not responsive. We raced to an ER, where CPR was applied.
But it was too late.
He was 15-16 year old. I remember getting him as a kitten; I opened the car door at the farm of my friend's, where a set of kittens were. I said to the litter 'who wants to live with me?" and this one hopped in. He has been my companion for 15 year, through joys and sorrows of the 90s. He moved with me from Illinois to Michigan to Arizona. I was pleased to see that he bonded with Someone when we two set up a home together.
And now Tiberius is gone.
I have never felt such pain and sorry and ache as I do today. The last time I felt this much loss and grief was when my grandfather died. This is the first loss of pet that I personally got and owned.
I have heard many single people tell me their pet's death was like losing a child. I can appreciate that more now.
I also feel some guilt and 'what ifs' - what if I had caught this sooner; what if I had not put him in the laundry room at all ; what if I had let him out earlier that morning when I heard him howling.... I longed for an end to the endless piles of poop. And now I got that wish.
I feel so awful. I feel so sad.
And I feel so alone.
posted by Ur-spo at 8:21 AM
31 Comments:
I'm so sorry for your loss. The death of a pet is very much like the death of a child. The unconditional love given and received by child/parent and pet/owner is certainly comparable. Give yourself time to grieve and take care of yourselves.
Tiberius will always be with you and Someone as long as you remember him, he lived a long, full, and loving life. He was blessed to have someone who cared for him as much as you did.
Big hugs to you guys, if you need anything let me know!
I am so sorry!
There are folks out there who will not understand your very real grief. They will dismiss Tiberius as "only a cat", "only an animal". They do not know.
I have had three beloved pets die. Our cat and two dogs. Two of them I had to make the decision. The dogs were 14+ and 15+ years old. You don't live with someone that long, as you lived with Tiberius, and who gave you years of unconditional love and not feel an incredible ache in the depths of your soul.
My heart goes out to you and Someone! May you find comfort and consolation in the midst of this very real grief. Do not beat yourself with guilt. If you had him for that long, you were a good human companion to him. Find joy in happy memories.
HUGS!!!
My friend, my heart and my love goes out to you - it is such a sad thing to loose a pet... please remember that you did everything that you could for him - you loved him and gave him 15 wonderful years of life that he would not have had had you not come into his life... when it is time, being in the laundry room or in bed with you doen't matter... you were with him when he passed and that is the most important thing in the world - he felt loved when died and that is something that we all needed...
Tiberius is looking down on you right now smiling and purring - he had a wonderful life and he wants you to have one also...
Let the tears flow - it is the best medicine there is...
I am very sorry for your loss. I've dedicated my latest posting to Tiberius. You may have seen this poem before, but I always find it apropriate at times like these.
Take care.
I think I mentioned before that my cat is fourteen years old. We're very close. Even though I've never feared death, I find myself worrying about her health. I know I will take it very hard when she does die.
I'm sorry for your loss. I Someone is with you today.
I am very sorry for your loss. When my beloved "Grey Kitty" died under the bed while Doug and I were downstairs, I felt intense guilt that she had died alone. But I eventually realized that any momentary lapse in our care at the end is lost in the decade or more of our care and love through their lives. Give yourself time to grieve and when it feels right, go find another animal companion. Lots of love in the meantime.
Errr,should be, I hope Someone is with you today.
I am sorry to hear of you loss. Our furry friens bring so much to our lives. A big hug from me. He will always be with you in your heart.
Oh Michael, I'm so sorry to hear this! Little consolation as this may be, many pets will wait until you are with them before taking their final breath. That Tiberius waited shows that he needed you by his side to help him on his journey.
You did all you could and should not feel any guilt. We all struggle with what if's after the death of a pet but there is no perfect answer. Don't beat yourself up...remember the good times, grieve and then the healing can begin.
My thoughts are with you both!
I'm so sorry, Michael. Both Chris & I are cat lovers and we're thinking of you.
Michael, truly--I've been there. Only another pet owner can share the ache with you. For you. Frankly I cried more tears over our cat's sudden, inexplicable death a couple years ago than I did for my own father's funeral.
Mourn and cry all you want. The loss, as I view it--is deeper because we could always count on the unconditional love. No strings.
Losing a pet is very hard; we bond like we do with humans. I didn't realize why Stephen posted what he did on his blog - it makes sense to me now. I made light of it, but now understand. I'm very sorry that you're having to go through this.
Im really sorry to hear your bad news
I have been through six cats in the last two years. I think they pick me when their sick. (I admit one did die a gruesome death at my hands but it was truly an accident)I fall in love with them and get attatched so quickly, I can understand how you must feel. I will gladly send you a new baby kitty if you would like. We have many here where I live and I am constantly trying to find them loving homes. (other than my own) This too shall pass, and you will look at Tiberius's picture with a smile on your face.
Michael, I know the feeling all too well. I'm just so sorry.
IF you'd lost this pet as a kitten, it might have been different (might have been). NO ONE can even imagine what one loses when a beloved pet dies. We lost our Parrot after 35 years companionship and it was hard to describe to my lucid friends what I was feeling because they did NOT know that Parrot like we did.
We lost our beloved Dog Tucker after 13 years and the last three, very ill. Yet, when that injection was given and he died so instantly, I was crushed! I thought I was going to be given that few moments of cute "goodbye" etc.
Losing a beloved is entirely personal, and please relish and embrace every feeling you're having right now. It is what brings memory alive and means the heart blooms eternal.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have not lost a pet since my parents had the dog I grew up with put to sleep. I remember the pain to this day and I understand your grief.
I hope that you are at home being held by Someone as I write this.
I know what it's like having lost three pets in my lifetime, two dogs and a cat. The cat was mine, one lab was our family dog as I went threw my late teens and college years, and the second lab was my sister's but was like mine as I spent a lot of time watching him over the years, in particular the year leading up to his death.
They do seem like our children often. Thinking of you. Hugs!
It's always devastating, particularly when they become so much a part of your life, know you so well and stand by you in good times and bad.
Cats are special beings. His love and devotion will always be with you.
I am so sorry to hear that! Our pets do become our family. When we lose a pet, we lose a member of our family. Know you are in my prayers and that there are people who care during this time of loss.
So so sorry to hear that. :( As a cat lover and owner myself, I can only imagine what you are going through. Having lost pets as a child, I didn't understand at the time about death and the attachment. Now as an adult and having owned the same cat for 5 years, they truly become a part of your heart and soul, and I would be terribly devastated if I lost my Precious.
But rest assured your cat is in kitty heaven, being loved and in such good health. When it's your turn, you two will be reunited again to spend eternity together.
I'm sorry about your loss!?
I was in the same boat in November 2004 and October 2005.
They were 18 and 19. They are my kids. I'll remember them always.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Sorry I'm a day late. I truly know how it feels to lose a long-time companion like Tiberius. My heart goes out to you.
I have a 13 yr old cat, and I truly cannot think about what my life will be like without her. My hubby let me bring 2 new kittens into our life earlier this year because he knew it would help a tiny bit when it comes time for Spooker to leave us. But even last night, as the old hissy ball of fur insisted on sleeping wrapped around my head with her paws resting on my wrist until my arm cramped, I knew how dear she is to me.
On behalf of me & my 3 kid-cats, we send our sincere condolonces. ~ Morgen
I'm so sorry. I'd be devestated if the same thing happened to me. For sure. You did all you could and he must have been a happy child!
I'm sorry I'm a day late. As a person who has lost way too many cats recently, my heart goes out to you. No words are adequate, really, but I know and feel your pain: A pain so achingly deep that you think you'll never recover.
My thoughts are with you.
I'm sitting here with tears running down my face, Spo. For your loss...
I have an 11 year old Border Collie who means the absolute world to me, and I know that he's in his last years. I know that I am in for devastation on the day that he goes, so...I just hug him and love him as much as I can, every day.
Tiberius was loved, and he knew it. That's all we can give them. I Hope today is a bit better.
Poor Tiberius! Poor you!
*virtual hug*
He was such a sweet cat.
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I saw this post while looking at your curious things post and had to respond. I've lost a couple of long-lived, much beloved pets in the last couple of years and it's a pain that I wouldn't wish upon anyone. Just remember that you gave him love and comfort throughout his long life. Try not to worry about the "what ifs"; you were there for him, he was there for you. That's the way it is with family.
Many belated hugs,
Laurie
I am so very sorry for your loss. I have just lost my little pal this week and it is so very very painful. You miss the greeting at the door. The endless chatter and the sleeping on top of you. Be good to yourself right now. Give yourself time to heal and then go get another little friend to love you and be loved by you. Take care.
Sorry to read of Tiberius. I know how hard it is. In my case my little kitty buddy for thirteen years developed an aggressive pancreatic cancer. I do have some advice for those of you who will be in a similar situation. You can choose to be present at the euthanasia, or not. In my case I wanted the last words she heard to be mine. I wanted her to be calm and at peace. Sure enough she started purring again despite how sick she was. But be warned that you are also creating a memory of watching your beloved pet die. It is a very hard thing to do. But if you can keep it together and help your pet through this then do so. You can cry all you want afterwards.
I am very sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. We just lost our 18 year old Cat Chianti this morning due to Kidney diease. He died in my wifes arms. He did not suffer to much. We did everything we could for him in the end.I am glad he is at peace and with God now. Our hearts are broken and full of greef but I would never given up the wonderful 18 years we had with him.
God Bless to you.
Jon and Jennifer K.
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